“Are you happy?”
I lay my head on the crook of my arms that are tucked under my knees and think about this question. It’s not about happy – it’s not as simple as that. It’s different, it’s better than happy – it’s like a contentment that I can feel in every part of me. People say contentment is a bad thing but to me it feels like a bath, a big giant warm bath that you can stay in forever because the water never gets tepid. A big giant warm bath made for me, with fingers and toes that never go white and a heart that’s flushed out the fear and has only light.
This is really me. Honest. This is calm, this is love, this is family, this is a place and a feeling that I am so happy to be in. I have three children that I love and a man who I know has my back. Life’s not perfect but I love the bones of it, you know?
“Happily ever after, then.”
No. More like life. This is it. Every part that came before is part of what made me who I am, right or wrong. This is life. And I am finally living.
“Oppression can only survive through silence.”
– Carmen de Montedlores
I can’t approve being wronged.
I wished to speak this time, I wished to speak lots of times, only my tongue failed me. Not that I am afraid, not that I care like I used to, but cause it will be in vein. Saying words knowing they’re just “blah blah blah”, so I always choose to listen in silent.
I don’t want that day to come, when I will regret my words, when I will be assaulted by bitchy karma, so I choose to listen in silent.
Silent is cruel, choosing to be patiently silent is misfortune, but this time I won’t listen in silent.
“Silence is a text easy to misread.”
– A. A. Attanasio
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
We live in a world that’s obsessed with fart jokes, hipster dogs and top 40 charts. Stupid is funny and easy. Stupid wins awards in France.
Stupid doesn’t change the menu because it knows you liked pie last time you came in, so why offer you anything else. Stupid wants you to watch the movie based on the action figure based on the comic book based on the book you read when you were a kid.
Stupid wants you to write the same story that everyone else writes, in the same way, with the same cover. Stupid wants you to be the Neil Gaiman of Mongolia or the Jackie Collins of Southern Sudan. Instead of the you of anywhere.
Stupid doesn’t take chances. Stupid is afraid of new.
Each day, the amount of people who visit this site could fill the Sydney Opera house three times over. But I know, if someone took a video of me getting drunk and falling over a dog outside a bar, it would get more hits in a day than I’ve gotten in four years.
Stupid, again, often wins.
The official song of the soccer World Cup can be roughly translated as
“Do the job, where do you come from, it is mine, wait, come.”
You would also be surprised to learn that South America is not the same place as South Africa and that the last time they shared something, besides the word “South”, it was when the general land mass was referred to as Pangaea.
Stupid wants you to fill out a form before you can fill out a form. Stupid sends you an email to tell you that you have too many emails. Stupid designs a phone that blinks and flashes its lights to tell you that it’s running out of power. Stupid puts up big, bright banner ads that tell you that a psychic somewhere can help you get rich. And stupid makes a lot of money like that.
But letting stupid get you down, is stupid.
Carry on being who you are and trying to do things in new, interesting and unfamiliar ways no matter how uncomfortable they make the rest of the world feel.
Because not everyone, is stupid.