“Wiles: Devious or cunning stratagems employed in manipulating or persuading someone to do what one wants” Source – Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Whenever I try to use my feminine wiles it always backfires.
There’s a book called, “Every Woman’s Battle.” It is about the battle in our minds and our emotions. How often do we compare our husbands to someone else? Another woman’s husband…a co-worker…a family friend. We start innocently enough…
“I wish MY husband would send me flowers for no reason like Beth’s does. He’s so romantic! I wonder what else he does for her?”
“Dave is always making plans for Date Night! Kylie is so lucky to have a husband like him. I wish my husband took the initiative once in a while.”
“Susan brags all the time about how her husband is always telling her she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. I wish my husband complimented me more often, he has no problem saying how hot other women are.”
What we’ve done is opened our hearts to someone who has no business being there. That’s dangerous territory. We are setting ourselves up for misery at best, and the ruination of lives at worst.
“What?” You may say…”I’m not having an affair! Good grief! How can these innocent complaints be anything CLOSE to an affair?” Well, they may not start out that way, but if you don’t nip it, you open more and more doors, until your heart is so hurt by what you’ve allowed yourself to believe (your husband isn’t good enough to you, someone else would meet your emotional needs better, etc) that you are open to the very thing you said you’d never do. It’s a slippery slope, and one that could be avoided if we nipped those thoughts.
I know marriage is hard. I am married to my best friend. We are so very close. I love him more than I ever thought I could love someone. But you know what? I’ve had to battle with this very subject. I have had to learn to take those thoughts and push them from my mind. Even in my strong marriage the temptation is there to compare my husband with others. I can imagine how much easier it is when you are in a marriage where your husband is emotionally distant.
Thinking back over the past two years, many wonderful memories come to mind but the thing that I keep coming back to today is how blatantly obvious it is to me that my husband is the person on this earth that God had in mind for me to marry, and how no one else in the world could fill that role better or more completely than he does. He is my match beyond a shadow of a doubt, and I feel so blessed to have him as part of my life.