Daily Archives: May 11, 2012

Short Skirts

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Not always enough but it helps.

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I’m Under a Little Black Rain Cloud

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I work 12 hour shifts and most days I spend the entire time with very minimal human contact, quite often none at all. Usually it’s just me and these four walls.

I didn’t realise how much I’d miss the day-to-day social interaction of a busy office. I need interactions with other people because they are such a significant part of how I enjoy my life. All people seem to depend on varying amounts of social interaction to keep them happy, stable, and sane. This is not surprising given that human beings are social by nature. Drastically reducing the amount of normal social interaction is emotionally, physically, and psychologically destructive. Long periods of time alone is not good. When I’m alone with my thoughts for too long I start to question things in my life – of who I really am and what my world is really like.

I am feeling very isolated and alone. I wish my husband would realise just how lonely my job is and would text me more often throughout the day. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. But, I don’t have a falling star and no amount of wishing will change my reality. I sometimes feel like I’m “out of sight out of mind” with him. I’ve learned not to say anything, to keep my thoughts to myself (I know, not healthy at all). It would accomplish nothing because all I’d hear by saying anything is “toughen up” or “get used to it.” Sometimes I find it really difficult being strong all the time.

It doesn’t help that I have been working nights this week and he has been off sick.  I come home, sleep all day and he’s been awake. I’ve seen him for about 20 minutes each day before leaving for work. Tomorrow and the next day I am working nights and he is working days so I won’t get to see him at all until Saturday night since he’ll be gone when I get home and vice versa.

Guess I am feeling more than a little sad today. 😦