Moods are fleeting. They really are. One minute you are on cloud nine and feel on top of the world; the next minute you feel as though a bottomless pit swallowed you whole. That’s the way life works and the same goes for marriage too. One minute you feel your spouse is the best thing that you EVER came across in your lifetime, and the next minute you wonder WHAT in the world you found so appealing in them and (taking it one step further), that you married the wrong person.
Such extreme thinking I know….yet most husbands and wives fall prey to it.
You see, when in a logical frame of mind, you know that such extreme thinking is not good, particularly if it’s in the negative direction. When you are in this extreme state of mind however, it’s a different story. You often don’t realize that your mood and emotions are driving your thoughts. So here’s a simple way to think about it:
Positive mood + positive emotions = positive thoughts about your spouse and marriage
Negative mood + negative emotions = negative thoughts about your spouse and marriage
Positive moods aren’t so much a problem. I personally think there is nothing wrong in overdosing in positive emotions, particularly when it comes to marriage. If you feel extremely good about your spouse and marriage, then enjoy the moment to the fullest. On the other hand, if you feel the opposite happening and you start to question everything about your spouse and your marriage, realize that your frame of mind might be driving your thoughts. Perhaps you had a bad day at work, are stressed or are angry, upset, annoyed and frustrated with our spouse. Perhaps you feel justified in your thoughts because your spouse is doing everything to get you angry, upset, annoyed or frustrated. Whatever the reason may be, realize what is happening. Realize that more than likely, it is your mood that is causing you to have such thoughts. Your mood is driving your perception of your spouse and marriage. In reality, things may actually be fine. Really! (Sometimes this requires you to step outside of the situation to see it for what it really is.)
And if all else fails and you still see yourself spiralling into doom and gloom thoughts about your situation, remind yourself of this. Moods are fleeting – like most things in life, they too shall pass.