Death of a Marriage

Before Marriage

Boy: I have been waiting for this day.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: NO!!!!

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of Course

Girl: Will you ever cheat on me??

Boy: Never in my life

Girl: Will you ever kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get

Girl: Will you lie to me??

Boy: Are you crazy..!

Girl: Can I trust you??

Boy: Yes..!!

Girl: Sweet Heart..!

After Marriage

(now read from bottom to top)

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There Is Only One Answer

Guys, there is only one answer to the question, “Do you like my hair?”

You may be tempted to offer an opinion on her new hairdo; you may be coaxed into giving suggestions on how to change her style; you may even be tempted to tease her about her tresses. Don’t do it! Those five little words seem innocent enough, but it’s a trap!

There is only one RIGHT answer to the question, every time. Offer a simple, sincere-sounding “Yes!” then, change the subject or run out of the room!

 

Vigorous

My favorite phrase in the movie The Mask of Zorro is when Antonio Banderas (Zorro) had just left Catherine Zeta-Jones (Elena) after a memorable sword scene. Flushed and flustered, Elena tried to explain what had transpired to her father, who was chasing Zorro. In describing her encounter with Zorro, Elena sputtered, “He was young and vigorous, Father … he was very vigorous!”

Like Zorro, my husband was once young and vigorous… very vigorous! He is starting to show the signs of middle-age, as I see him sprouting more gray hairs and getting more bald, it occurs to me that he is getting old, or should I say older. I don’t know why that comes as such a shock to me. I certainly have been aware of my own aging for a while. (I was hoping, of course, that he didn’t notice.)

He may have been young and vigorous once, but I will love him even when he is old and weak.

 

Moody

Moods are fleeting. They really are. One minute you are on cloud nine and feel on top of the world; the next minute you feel as though a bottomless pit swallowed you whole. That’s the way life works and the same goes for marriage too. One minute you feel your spouse is the best thing that you EVER came across in your lifetime, and the next minute you wonder WHAT in the world you found so appealing in them and (taking it one step further), that you married the wrong person.

Such extreme thinking I know….yet most husbands and wives fall prey to it.

You see, when in a logical frame of mind, you know that such extreme thinking is not good, particularly if it’s in the negative direction. When you are in this extreme state of mind however, it’s a different story. You often don’t realize that your mood and emotions are driving your thoughts. So here’s a simple way to think about it:

Positive mood + positive emotions = positive thoughts about your spouse and marriage

Negative mood + negative emotions = negative thoughts about your spouse and marriage

Positive moods aren’t so much a problem. I personally think there is nothing wrong in overdosing in positive emotions, particularly when it comes to marriage. If you feel extremely good about your spouse and marriage, then enjoy the moment to the fullest. On the other hand, if you feel the opposite happening and you start to question everything about your spouse and your marriage, realize that your frame of mind might be driving your thoughts. Perhaps you had a bad day at work, are stressed or are angry, upset, annoyed and frustrated with our spouse. Perhaps you feel justified in your thoughts because your spouse is doing everything to get you angry, upset, annoyed or frustrated. Whatever the reason may be, realize what is happening. Realize that more than likely, it is your mood that is causing you to have such thoughts. Your mood is driving your perception of your spouse and marriage. In reality, things may actually be fine. Really! (Sometimes this requires you to step outside of the situation to see it for what it really is.)

And if all else fails and you still see yourself spiralling into doom and gloom thoughts about your situation, remind yourself of this. Moods are fleeting – like most things in life, they too shall pass.

 

I’m Under a Little Black Rain Cloud

I work 12 hour shifts and most days I spend the entire time with very minimal human contact, quite often none at all. Usually it’s just me and these four walls.

I didn’t realise how much I’d miss the day-to-day social interaction of a busy office. I need interactions with other people because they are such a significant part of how I enjoy my life. All people seem to depend on varying amounts of social interaction to keep them happy, stable, and sane. This is not surprising given that human beings are social by nature. Drastically reducing the amount of normal social interaction is emotionally, physically, and psychologically destructive. Long periods of time alone is not good. When I’m alone with my thoughts for too long I start to question things in my life – of who I really am and what my world is really like.

I am feeling very isolated and alone. I wish my husband would realise just how lonely my job is and would text me more often throughout the day. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. But, I don’t have a falling star and no amount of wishing will change my reality. I sometimes feel like I’m “out of sight out of mind” with him. I’ve learned not to say anything, to keep my thoughts to myself (I know, not healthy at all). It would accomplish nothing because all I’d hear by saying anything is “toughen up” or “get used to it.” Sometimes I find it really difficult being strong all the time.

It doesn’t help that I have been working nights this week and he has been off sick.  I come home, sleep all day and he’s been awake. I’ve seen him for about 20 minutes each day before leaving for work. Tomorrow and the next day I am working nights and he is working days so I won’t get to see him at all until Saturday night since he’ll be gone when I get home and vice versa.

Guess I am feeling more than a little sad today. 😦