Confusion is set within me.
I feel a desperate need to think with a clear head as thoughts start crossing my mind. Thoughts that make me feel as if I had no control.
I feel overtaken by everything that happens around me.
I start to realise that sometimes I need to clear the board again and start new. I know that I need to keep the good and delete the bad. It is hard for me to do that at times because emotions start to run through my veins. A deep silence within my heart and a pain that I cannot sustain. I see the hurt. The only thing crossing my mind is trying to heal the pain.
When I get hurt, I clam up and do not want to open up to anyone. I feel as if the world is closing on me and I have no room to breathe. No one to see. No one to even call upon.
I feel pain that has accumulated over the years and feel it has not diminished. I feel as if I have not learned a lesson because I allow this vicious cycle to happen. I need to put a stop to all the stupid nonsense that happens around me.
I know confusion in my life is not all about feelings and emotional state, it is about not having the clarity I need to be able to find the foundation of the pain.
I know the foundation of my pain and it is something that I am working on.
Confusion is temporary, as long as we know how to control it.