I am sitting here trying so hard to breathe… trying hard to remember when it was when I last felt this way, this particular mix of feeling angry, hurt, and disappointed.
I keep looking in my memories for fragments of little things that would help me remember but all is blurry. Or is it all locked where my mind dares not wander?
I will just go to bed now. I don’t want thoughts that would trouble me. Just silence. I will not try to remember… not a thing… just blankness and blur… and sleep… and I don’t want the dreams.
Tomorrow, it will all be forgotten as it will mix with the blur and blend into the numbness.
And I will be ok like that…