I am sitting here trying so hard to breathe… trying hard to remember when it was when I last felt this way, this particular mix of feeling angry, hurt, and disappointed.

I keep looking in my memories for fragments of little things that would help me remember but all is blurry. Or is it all locked where my mind dares not wander?

I will just go to bed now. I don’t want thoughts that would trouble me. Just silence. I will not try to remember… not a thing… just blankness and blur… and sleep… and I don’t want the dreams.

Tomorrow, it will all be forgotten as it will mix with the blur and blend into the numbness.

And I will be ok like that…


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